So this is the power forums?

[Say Wuut]

"This is a little story. Once upon a time, there was a guy named Ian. He went by the name of Siriusa2 online and most people just called him Siri. That was all fine. Some said he had no life, others worshipped him for some reason or other.

Really though, he was really just an ordinary guy in an ordinary world. He played a number of video games, including Call of Duty and was quite active on the forums. During his time there, he got to know a large number of the other users and they got along more or less swimmingly.

Over time, Siri was slowly overwhelmed by work and school, leaving little time for video games. His friends on the forums were saddened by this and often begged him to play with them. As much as he wanted to, he had too much to do.

Later, in August, his friends got banned from the Infinity Ward Forums. Siri was saddened by this, but they repeatedly reminded him that they had a new place - the Power Forums. He didn't join right away, saying he was usually busy and he'd get around to it. But it started to seem like he never would.

Luck then happened to smile on Siri not but yesterday - he had done all of his work and it was still early in the evening. So he flipped on his Playstation 3, ready to reconnect with his old friends. But, when he signed on, he saw that there was nobody online who would play with him.

Even though he knew his friends had lives, he was still hurt that when he made time for them and went online, almost nobody was there. Even those who would were still online were apparently too busy to bother to play with him for even one game.

Defeated, he turned off his PS3 and sat down in front of his computer, and began to write.



SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK GUYS. YOU'RE ALWAYS BITCHIN' TO ME, WHINING "AWWWW SIRI WHY DON'T YOU EVER PLAY WITH US ANY MORE?" WELL MAYBE IF YOU GOT THE DICKS OUT OF YOUR ASSES YOU'D BE ABLE TO SEE THAT I HAVE A LIFE TO ATTEND TO AND I'M RATHER BUSY A GOOD AMOUNT OF THE TIME. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, JUST FOR YOU GUYS I DECIDED I'D MAKE ROOM IN MY SCHEDULE. JUST FOR YOU GUYS. SO I DID AND I WENT ONLINE LAST NIGHT. YOU KNOW WHO PLAYED WITH ME? NOBODY. ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY NO-DICKING-BODY. WHILE YOU GUYS WERE ALWAYS WHINING ABOUT ME NEVER PLAYING AND HOW IT'S SO BORING, I GUESS YOU WERE TOO BUSY GARGLING YOUR CUM TO ACTUALLY NOTICE WHEN I WENT ONLINE. WELL FUCK THAT. YOU CAN GO DROWN IN YOUR OWN FECAL MATTER AND DIE IN A FUCKING TOWERING INFERNO FOR ALL I CARE.

OH YEAH, AND AS FAR AS BITCHING AT ME TO JOIN THIS FORUM, FUCK YOU. I WAS GONNA DO IT ONCE I GOT AROUND TO IT, BUT NOOOOOOO, "HEY SIRI EVERYONE'S HERE," "HEY SIRI YOU SHOULD JOIN," "HEY SIRI I HAVE THIS DILDO ALL THE WAY UP MY RECTUM, HELP ME." NO. FUCK THAT. BUT THANKS TO YOUR HURR DURR LULZY BANS FROM THE IWF, NOW I HAVE TO COME HERE TO DELIVER YOU GUYS THIS MESSAGE. SO THANKS A FUCKIN' LOT. NO SERIOUSLY, FUCK YOU.

SEE THIS PICTURE? IN IT SHOWS THE AMOUNT OF FUCKS GIVEN FOR THIS SHIT.













GOT IT? GOOD.

SO IN ADDITION TO ALWAYS BUGGING ME ON TWITTER, SOME OF YOU DICKCUNTS GO AHEAD AND START SPAMMING MY SKYPE. "HEY SIRI, I DIDN'T SEE YOU ON THE POWER FORUMS YET," "HEY SIRI, EVERYONE WANTS YOU TO JOIN" "HEY SIRI COME ON," "HEY SIRI, JUST REGISTER."

FUCK YOU. I ALWAYS SAID, "I'LL REGISTER WHEN I GET AROUND TO IT."

BUT NOOOOOOOOOO. YOU GUYS JUST HAD TO MAKE SURE I DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT YOUR SORRY ASSES AND GO CHEAT ON YOU WITH SOME OTHER SLUTTY FORUM LIKE OVER AT BUNGIE.NET. SERIOUSLY, THEY HAVE A MILLION 12 YEAR OLDS TO TROLL AND MOLEST, BUT THERE'S ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY NONE OF THOSE KIND OF PEOPLE HERE (EXCEPT FOR ICEHEAVEN, BUT HE'S CANADIAN AND THEREFORE NOT A PEOPLE). THAT WAS ONE THING I ENJOYED ABOUT THE IWF, BUT NOW THEY'VE GONE AND OVERRUN IT. THERE'S ROUGHLY FOUR HUNDRED "WHEN IS MODURN WARFAR 3 GONNA BE OUT?" THREADS ON THE FRONT PAGE. GODDAMN IT'S LIKE GIVING BIRTH TO KIDS WITH DOWN SYNDROME IS THE NEW BLACK. AND NORMALLY I HAVE YOU DICKWADS TO KEEP AT LEAST SOME OF THE LITTLE CUMRAGS AT BAY, BUT INSTEAD YOU WENT AND GOT YOUR ASSES BANNED FOR SPAMMING UP THE SHITTY OFF TOPIC FORUM. NO, FUCK YOU.

SO THERE I AM, MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS, RIGHT? WE'RE ALL HANGING OUT AND HAVING FUN. THEN SUDDENLY, BLAM! ALL OF YOU GO AND GET YOURSELVES BANNED (I GUESS ALWAYS SUCKING UP TO FOXY DIDN'T WORK OUT IN YOUR FAVOR, EH PATTY? GO SUCK A BILLION COCKS).SO NOW I HAVE TO DEAL WITH ALL THESE LITTLE NEWBIE SHITS ON MY OWN. "COME LOOK AT MY NEW 360 WALLBANG THROWING KNIFE!" NO KID, FUCK YOU AND CRAWL BACK UP YOUR MOTHER'S RAGGED CUNT. "HAY WHAT SHOULD I USE, INTERVENTION OR UMP?" PROBABLY A PENIS, GIVEN HOW MUCH PRACTICE YOU PROBABLY HAVE IN HANDLING THOSE. GODDAMN THESE KIDS ARE MORONS.

YEAH FUCKING (WITH) THEM CAN BE FUN, BUT I'M NOT MEANT TO TAKE ON A HORDE OF THEM ALONE. GODDAMN GUYS I NEED SOME BACKUP. BUT NO, YOU'RE TOO BUSY WHINING AT ME TO JOIN YOUR NEW FORUMS AND PLAY ONLINE. WELL CLIMB A WALL OF DICKS YOU UNGRATEFUL SONSABITCHES, CUZ I WAS ONLINE AND HERE I AM. FUCKERS!

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU PROBABLY STILL WON'T BE HAPPY FUCK THAT. YOU WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING INTERESTING? THERE ARE ROUGHLY 400 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN MICROSCOPICALLY THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY APARTMENT COMPLEX. IF THE WORDS "FUCK YOU" WERE ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM (THATS A BILLIONTH OF A TEN BILLIONTH OF A METER YOU UNEDUCATED BALLSACK), IT WOULD BE NOWHERE NEAR THE AMOUNT OF HATRED I FEEL FOR YOU FUCKERS AT THIS MICROINSTANT. WELCOME TO HELL, POPULATION: YOU. FUCK!"


Last edited by Siriusa on Wed 18 Aug 2010 - 4:12; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : I WANTED TO GODDAMN IT GO BACK TO SITTING ON A CUCUMBER.)

[Lady_Scout]

Wow

Edit: Don't forget this-

"P.S. AND I KNOW SOME SMARTASS IS GONNA COME IN HERE AND SAY "hey bro u mad?" OR "tl;dr" OR "nice wall." FUCK YOU TOO. I'LL HUNT YOU AND YOUR FAMILY DOWN AND TORTURE THEM, RAPE THEM, AND KILL THEM IN FRONT OF YOU. I'M GOING TO MAKE THE HOLOCAUST LOOK LIKE A GODDAMN TRIP TO THE FUCKING CIRCUS. BUT I'LL LEAVE YOU FOR LAST, AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'LL DO? FIRST I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU A KNIFE. YES YOU HEARD ME RIGHT. I'M GIVING YOU THE KNIFE. AND YOU'RE GOING TO SLOWLY CHOP UP YOUR BELOVED FAMILY AND EATH THEM ALL ONE BY ONE. EAT. THEM. ALL.

THEN ONCE YOU'RE FULL AND PLUMP, THAT'S WHEN THE FUN BEINGS. I'LL START SMALL, MAYBE TAKE A TOE, A FINGER, OR AN EAR. THEN I'LL START MOVING UP. MAYBE A HAND, YOUR NOSE. BUT I'LL LEAVE THE EYES. AND I'LL KEEP A MIRROR IN FRONT OF YOU THE WHOLE TIME, JUST SO YOU CAN WATCH YOUR OWN UNDOING. THEN AT THE LAST MINUTE, WHEN YOUR ARMS AND LEGS ARE GONE, WHEN YOU HAVE NOTHING LEFT, YOU KNOW WHAT I'LL DO? NOTHING.

THAT'S RIGHT. NOTHING.

YOU'LL GO TO THE HOSPITAL, SLOWLY RECOVER, AND OVER TIME GET BETTER. YOU'LL HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING WITH YOUR FACE, BUT YOU'LL BE FINE, PEOPLE HAVE DONE THAT BEFORE. AS YOU GET BETTER, YOU'LL HAVE ME ALWAYS IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND, WONDERING JUST WHAT THE FUCK WILL HAPPEN NEXT.

BUT ON THE DAY YOU'RE RELEASED FROM THE HOSPITAL, I'LL FINISH THE JOB. I'M GOING TO HIT YOU SO HARD WITH MY CAR THEY WON'T EVEN BE ABLE TO IDENTIFY YOU BY THE DENTAL RECORDS. AND YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO ESCAPE. IF YOU TRY TO KILL YOURSELF, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. I'LL RESUSCITATE YOU AND KILL YOU SO HARD I WIPE OUT YOUR ANCESTORS ALL THE WAY BACK TO WHEN YOU WERE FUCKING MONKEYS. I HATE YOU THAT MUCH.

P.P.S. MODS, IF YOU DELETE THIS, YOU'LL SUFFER THE SAME FATE AS THE ABOVE. I WANT ALL THESE MOTHERFUCKERS TO SEE THIS POST.


Last edited by Siriusa on Wed Aug 18, 2010 12:05 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : YOU LIKE THE TASTE OF CUM TOO MUCH.)"

I never knew Siri could get so mad ._.

[Doitsu]

I R scared Damn, Siri opened up a whole can of whoop ass here

[NewWaveGuy]

Is he serious? I had to L.O.L. when I saw that.

I think something snapped. Sure, he has a valid point, but there are so many things in life like this, you can't be serious to write all that just because of what happened. After reading all that I've come to the conclusion he only thinks about himself, and thinks he's super important.

And I think he posted offensive images here too and spammed the forum.


I don't think I like Siriusa.

[NotSamTheLost]

no-life sounds about right.

[ICEheaven102]

Lol, Siri just sploded.

[CoDfAtHeR123]

I felt those shockwaves from here...

[MMC x 3]

Have any of you ever heard of a joke?

[Patefacio]

That was a joke children.

[NewWaveGuy]

Have any of you ever heard of a joke?

Yeah, it was really funny.

I barely know him, I read most of it, and it looked like someone was having a serious anger issue. You find all kinds of people the internet, it really is hard to tell if you don't know him.

[Patefacio]

He's one of my best friends, I know for a fact that it was a joke.

[NewWaveGuy]

He's one of my best friends, I know for a fact that it was a joke.

ok then I undo everything what I said, though I can't.

*should've known it was a joke*

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