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The Writing thread

Post by Doitsu on Sun Dec 05, 2010 3:24 pm

Well, I got the idea to make this from basica Essays that the such. Here is where you cna post your school work regarding anything that is writing for advice and POSITIVE critizism. I hope this works Smile Note: Remember that format doesn't work here

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Anthony Sanchez
October 23, 2010
US History I
Period 8
DBQ-Division of New England and Chesapeake regions


-During the colonial period, the New England and Chesapeake colony regions both had thriving economies, settlements, and colonists; however they branched off into two different societies. Before 1700, the settlers in one colony had a different lifestyle and work style than the settlers in the other colony. The main agenda of each colony differed as well, setting up contrasting motives for each people. The division between these two regions occurred once the differences between the organizational skills of each colony became apparent, the number of new immigrants increased in New England, and the political views of each region.

-The earliest hint of a difference between the New England colonies and Chesapeake region was seen in the way that both colonies were organized. Even before the settlers landed in New England, they already had a plan thought out and the way that they would execute it. John Winthrop writes in his document, A Model of Christian Charity, “We must delight in each other, make others’ conditions our own, rejoice together, mourn together, labor and suffer together, always having before our eyes our commission and community in the work…”. This clearly explained how the colonists in New England would work together as a community, in order to keep moving forward. In the Chesapeake area however, the voyager were largely unprepared, and even had to part with their valuables to buy supplies. Captain John Smith recalls from his book, History of Virginia, “ When the [large ship] departed,… those of us that had money, spare clothes, credit to give bills of payment, gold rings, fur, or any such commodities, were ever welcome to [purchase supplies…”. Voyagers, who did not pack food or similar necessities, had to sacrifice their own personal goods. New England settlers were prepaid however, which would be the opposite of the Chesapeake colonists. This could also attribute to the reason why each region got as many immigrants as they did.

-After the first party, more groups of immigrants came to each region, most likely after hearing about how well the first party was organized. During this time, people did not just randomly immigrate to America; they had to have a reason. For New England, it was probably because many people were already setting sail to go there, and the fact that the original settlers had practical occupations. A list of emigrants bound for New England listed in a log from a ship heading to New England, “1. Joseph Hull, of Somerset, a minister, aged 40 years… 13. Musachiell Bernard, of Batcombe, clothier in the county of Somerset, 24 years… 21. Timothy Tabor, in Somerset of Batcombe, tailor, aged 35 years… 104. Robert Huste, husbandman, 40…” This list showed that some of the residents had occupations that would be vital for the community, such as a tailor or someone that deals with clothing. Another fact that can be derived is that immigrants would seem to come in large boat loads, greatly increasing the population of New England. A similar source from a ship bound for Virginia had this listed, “Edward Towers 26, Henry Woodman 22, Richard seems 26, Vyncent Whatter 17…”. Not much is known about the about the listed immigrants besides their name and age, which would be disheartening to anyone who wanted to view this list to get to know something about the types of immigrants that come to the Chesapeake area.

-The most influencing division did now appear until both regions had started lasting communities, and had to start handling problems of their own. New England did not have many worries of rebellion or insurrection, but rather it needed to handle its economic policies. In response to concern with wages, a passage about wage and price regulations had this to say; “Whereas a great cry of oppression is heard among us,… … it is therefore ordered that… [prices and wages] be duly set at each of our General Courts annually,…“. The community leaders decided to solve the problem in a civilized manner, by setting the wages and prices of workmen at their annual meetings. In the Chesapeake region however, the governor, when faced with conflict, decided to take a more aggressive approach. In a meeting with his council, governor Berkeley stated, “…,the state and condition of this country in general and our particular disability[y] to… [engage in] war at the time of this invasion [by the Dutch]…[We] therefore do most humbly beseech you majesty and your most honorable council to consider that Virginia is intersected by so many vast rivers as to make more miles to defend that n we have men of trust to defend them.”. Instead of asking for ideas to find a way to make a compromise or true, Berkeley and the council insist that the monarch send men to help defend against invaders. The pacifist governing of the New England area, and the aggressive governing of the Chesapeake area could not be any more different.

-New England is more appealing to those with a family to support and those who wish to start anew. The Chesapeake area seems to provide a decent place for the wealthier and more powerful to start an enterprise. By evaluating evidence of the characteristics of each colony, it is clear that these two regions would have to branch off and form two societies independent from each other.




I got an 87 on this Neutral

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Re: The Writing thread

Post by NotSamTheLost on Sun Dec 05, 2010 5:32 pm

the word you're looking for is CONSTRUCTIVE criticism not positive. Wink
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Re: The Writing thread

Post by Doitsu on Tue Dec 07, 2010 2:02 am

NotSamTheLost wrote:the word you're looking for is CONSTRUCTIVE criticism not positive. Wink

Thanks Sam Razz

BTW, I may post my modern day adaption of one of the scenes in "Twelfth Night" by William Shakespeare tomarrow Surprised

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Re: The Writing thread

Post by Doitsu on Tue Dec 07, 2010 11:25 pm

Twelfth Night Play Script
Act 3, Scene 3

[Backdrop: NYC, Times Square. Enter Sebastian and Antonio from stage left]

Sebastian: I know for the past few cities we’ve passed through, you’ve been keeping me company. At first, I didn’t want to keep you away from your own agenda, but it’s cool if you want to stay.

Antonio: It is no problem. I just wanted to follow you because you are one of the very few people I know here. I soon realized that you need my protection, because you do not know the area too well. As a good friend of mine, I thought I should guide you around.

Sebastian: Thanks, I really appreciate it. After the plane crash, my life was a mess, but your guidance really helped me. If I could, I would pay you for what you’ve done, but because I’m broke I can’t offer anything else except for my company. So, I was thinking that we could go see the town together.

We can go to Brooklyn or Tribeca
Live like Sinatra,
Go to see broadway,
Expensive box seats
Cruise down 8th street,
in a black lexus,
Eat all around town,
In the most amazing places
We can live up the night
And have some crazy fun

Antonio: Sorry. We cannot stay in those expensive hotels on Broadway, but the sites from the little motels are good too. We will be safer there. We can do that later, for now lets find a place to stay for the night.

Sebastian: Why? It’s only noon and I’m not even tired. Let us go see this city.

Antonio: I wish we could, but lets just say that it is not safe for me to walk the streets in broad daylight.

[Cop passes by; Antonio hides behind Sebastian]

Sebastian: Why in the world would we hide? I haven’t even been to this city before!

[Backdrop: Bank with robber inside. Antonio moves up to center stage]

Antonio: It is a long story my friend. It all began a few years ago in this very city. When I was younger, I was a member of the Russian Mafia. One of our jobs forced me to help rob a bank near Times Square. It didn’t turn out as we planned…

Sebastian: Oh no, don’t tell me you killed someone! You murderer!

Antonio: No, even I have limits. What ended up happening was the capture of several of my comrades. They gave back what they had stolen and served their time in jail. I on the other hand, decided not to turn myself in, and have been running from the law ever since. I am wanted in several states, and in New York City. I may go to jail for life if they catch me here.

Sebastian: If you want to avoid being captured then try to blend in. If you’re good enough, they’ll never find you in this city.

Antonio: You have a good point. I will try to take your advice. Wait a minute, let me give you something:

[Hands him wallet]

As I have said before, we cannot stay in a very nice hotel. We will have to stay at a smaller one on one of the smaller side streets. I will order room service for you while you sight see. You will find me there.

Sebastian: Alright, I understand, but why did you give me your wallet?

Antonio: I thought that you might see something that you may like while you are out. Besides, after the crash, I do not think that you have much money on you.

Sebastian: Thank you, I’ll hold onto it just in cae. I’ll see you later at the hotel.

Antonio: Be sure to go to the right place

Sebastian: Don’t worry; I’ll be sure to go to the right place. See you there.

_________________________________________________________________________
IMO, they sound kinda gay Antonio is Russian, while Sebastian is suppsoed to be a young wealthy american. It's a modern day interpretation of the story.

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Re: The Writing thread

Post by Say Wuut on Wed Dec 08, 2010 12:24 am

Gimme moar

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Re: The Writing thread

Post by Doitsu on Wed Dec 08, 2010 12:53 am

Say Wuut wrote:Gimme moar

LOL More? Since when did I become a yaoi writer? XD I'll think about the thought of continueing this story your way Wink Damn you SHakespeare adn your hidden gayness <_<

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Re: The Writing thread

Post by Say Wuut on Wed Dec 08, 2010 12:56 am

girls like gayness

thats why shakespeare got laid everyday Wink

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Re: The Writing thread

Post by Doitsu on Wed Dec 08, 2010 1:08 am

Say Wuut wrote:girls like gayness

thats why shakespeare got laid everyday Wink

"Got laid everyday" By that do you mean screwing around with 12 year old boys? Surprised

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Re: The Writing thread

Post by Say Wuut on Wed Dec 08, 2010 1:15 am

of course! thats why I like him so much

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Re: The Writing thread

Post by Doitsu on Wed Dec 08, 2010 1:18 am

Say Wuut wrote:of course! thats why I like him so much

lol Well, I guess I'll continue the story for you and kst when I get time... its because I'm such a nice guy Wink

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Re: The Writing thread

Post by Say Wuut on Wed Dec 08, 2010 1:27 am

wait your a guy? o.O

xD

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Re: The Writing thread

Post by Doitsu on Wed Dec 08, 2010 1:28 am

Say Wuut wrote:wait your a guy? o.O

xD

Says the girl who thinks my Scotish Irish is awesome

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Re: The Writing thread

Post by Lady_Scout on Wed Dec 08, 2010 2:55 am

Are you sure...?

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Re: The Writing thread

Post by Doitsu on Wed Dec 08, 2010 3:15 am

Lady_Scout wrote:Are you sure...?

Yes I'm sure, damn it! <_<

I'm sure I'm a guy, and I'm sure that I'm not gay <_<

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Re: The Writing thread

Post by Guest on Thu Dec 09, 2010 12:33 am

This is my face ------> Shocked

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Re: The Writing thread

Post by Doitsu on Fri Dec 10, 2010 1:15 am

Well, I'll post my newest DBQ in a week or so once I hand it in. I'm sorry that I don't have nay creative stories, but I don't have many oppertunities to do creative writting Anyone else got any writing pieces they want to post? Surprised

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Re: The Writing thread

Post by Lady_Scout on Fri Dec 10, 2010 4:00 am

I could post my analytical essay that I got a 120% on but I think it's kinda ghey...

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Re: The Writing thread

Post by Say Wuut on Fri Dec 10, 2010 9:03 pm

Gibby, kst, we need more yaoi.


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Re: The Writing thread

Post by Lady_Scout on Fri Dec 10, 2010 9:24 pm

Fiona [you wish my last name was here Razz]
Period 2
22 October 2010

Analytical Essay

“A Tree Telling of Orpheus,” by Denise Levertov is an elegant piece that triggers the imagination lying dormant within each reader with its dancing trees and musical powers. This poem uses personification to bring trees to life and create flowing impressions. Metaphors shape the images inside the mind and strengthening each word. Its story is an allusion that touches upon the ancient Greek myth of the musician named Orpheus. This essay will analyze Levertov’s use of figurative language in “A Tree Telling of Orpheus” and its effect on the reader.
Personification is used by Levertov throughout her poem in the thoughts of the tree, its brethren, and basically the world as the tree sees it. This allows readers to visualize these things with the poem’s deep descriptions that are formed by the author’s imagination. For example, “from his voice which unlike the wind’s voice had no need of our leaves and branches to complete its sound” speaks of the wind and describes the way the wind produces its sound. The very speaker of “A Tree Telling of Orpheus” is a tree who was brought to life with this use of words. This piece of figurative language carefully forms mental pictures with ease.
Denise Levertov also uses metaphors to express the power of music by comparing ordinary objects with the elements or describing by using a tree’s way of thinking. Readers can feel this influence and understand how the characters within the poem feel about it. One of these metaphors is “his lyre were both frost and fire” which uses the lyre and natural elements. Another example would be “the head that’s crowned by brown or gold grass” which shows how the tree describes by using its surroundings. Metaphors in “A Tree Telling of Orpheus” can either form pictures or express a new feeling.
A third form of figurative language that is less noticeable is allusion; this poem references a Greek myth which presents a bit of background information to those unfamiliar with it. This information teaches readers a little of the myth and Orpheus himself throughout the poem. Most of the poem displays Orpheus’ talent with the lyre and as a musician which is so powerful it can make trees “dance”. “It is said he made his earth-journey, and lost
what he sought” is a mention to Orpheus’ journey to the underworld where he failed to save his wife’s soul. The allusion allows some readers to understand who Orpheus was and his musical powers.
Levertov’s use of figurative language in “A Tree Telling of Orpheus” paints pictures within the reader’s mind and creates a unique experience. Her use of personification reached a different level of creativity and causes readers to imagine things to move and dance which they would otherwise never have thought of. Metaphors eloquently describe feelings and immerse the reader with them. The allusion forms an aura of familiarity to those studying Greek myths and expands this story for those who did not learn of Orpheus’ tale. This poem is ensnared in the vines of music and feeling that is enhanced by the author’s language which is all held within this piece of masterful literature.
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This was so ghey -_-

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Re: The Writing thread

Post by Doitsu on Fri Dec 10, 2010 9:29 pm

Hey, I don't think that it was that bad. I mean, tbh the format isn't what I'm used to writing, but its good. You're very descriptive with words which is a good thing. When I write, I write more to persaud and prove my point. I'd say you deserved that 120% Smile

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Re: The Writing thread

Post by Say Wuut on Sat Dec 11, 2010 2:42 am

Born into a dissonant household in Brooklyn, New York, Cynthia decided to pursue a career in music. However, she was forced to rescind her dreams due to a broken wrist she received from one her fathers drunken moods. This setback only whet her resolve to pursue her dreams. She responded with alacrity each time she heard a new song from her favorite band, Black Sabbath. Cynthia was rather bellicose with her father and mother due to their loquacious disparaging of her musical dreams.

She wanted to get out of her abusive life, out of her abusive household, and out of her parents restrictive edicts. At Crestwood High School she could practice her music, eat in peace, and overcome her fear of adults. She insisted that the school board should hire trained guidance counselors and that the school should play an active role to improve a student’s life. Often, she stays at school even after closing time because she didn’t want to go home. However, on most days she would strum her guitar in the streets; her sorrowful lyrics often alluded to her upbringing.

When Cynthia was old enough to work, she took in several part time jobs to alleviate the growing tension she withstood from her parents. Among the various jobs she undertook, she helped with the establishment of a music center for poverty stricken children, she helped counsel students suffering from depression, and she helped the establishment for women’s rights. Often at night she wonders to herself if it was all worth it, but when she sees her guitar in the gleaming moonlight. She knew for certain that it was well worth the struggle to live on.


Assignment I had last year for creative writing, tried to use a much vocab words as I can.

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Re: The Writing thread

Post by Doitsu on Sat Dec 11, 2010 4:01 pm

lol I can tell Razz I like it, it was a pretty good story, and the words that you used fit well. I wish we had more creative writing topics, so I wasn't so limited I'm still stuck with political, and economical essays, but I don't mind. Anyway, that was a good little piece, what did you get on it? Surprised

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Re: The Writing thread

Post by Say Wuut on Sun Dec 12, 2010 3:40 am

Doitsu wrote:lol I can tell Razz I like it, it was a pretty good story, and the words that you used fit well. I wish we had more creative writing topics, so I wasn't so limited I'm still stuck with political, and economical essays, but I don't mind. Anyway, that was a good little piece, what did you get on it? Surprised

Glad you like it Very Happy

Lol I know, its boring talking about people who died like 200 years ago. Sad

I got a 96 on it, my teacher said the way I ended it was a little to broad and left readers whether or not she had thoughts about suicide. "Besides the closing, everything was great".

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Re: The Writing thread

Post by ICEheaven102 on Tue Dec 14, 2010 3:17 am

So what do you guys think of my anime review?...

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Re: The Writing thread

Post by Nozomi "Ai" Kiriya on Fri Dec 17, 2010 9:49 pm

Wow, this is all amazing stuff Surprised

@Helen and kst: I think both of your stories/peices are great. You use words that make them sound better without confusing the reader. I could use some pointers sometime Sad

@Blake-sama No Offense, but its a little too much for me Its good writing, but reading about history just isn't my thing >.< Your Play was good though, I'm reading the same book right now, and I think that is a good cross over

@Ice I just replied, I think it was a good review for your first time Smile
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